I find myself writing this as I try to milk out one of those random urges of inspiration and productivity that we don't tend to act upon because they happen so late at night.
I've never written a blog post, or done anything similar to it but it seems that this is what my soul wants so here I am. Putting myself out there. Oddly enough, I already feel satisfied with this and what may come from it because I'm doing it for myself (which is something I struggle to do). I have absolutely no expectations for this except wanting to share my truth. Whatever that means. I guess I will define that as I go. To whoever decides to read this, I hope I am able to shed some light, positivity, or simply be someone you can relate to. I invite you to walk with me on this journey. I have absolutely no idea what the end is by the way, but I (for once) am actually okay with and find some comfort in that.
Because our journeys are never a straight path, these posts will not be either. I will speak on whatever my soul feels. I simply aim to be transparent. If I'm being quite honest, I'm taking a huge leap of faith writing this. This is the first step to me going out of my comfort zone and creating the change I want in my life.
Lately, I noticed I haven't really been nice to myself because of the amount of social media intake I have had. Although I'm conscious that social media is a front for many people, it still seems to be taking its toll. I've been having an internal battle lately about what my next "move" is. I have put a pressure on myself to somehow have everything figured out. Ya know, "adulting" or whatever.
I'm currently reading You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero (an incredibly great read by the way) and I just finished a chapter about fear. A specific sentence that stood out was "On the other side of your fear is your freedom". We limit ourselves in so many ways purely out of fear. Fear for the unknown, fear of rejection, fear of failure. To continue quoting Jen (because this chapter just stood out to me so much and I think we all need to hear it), "when we watch someone take a leap of faith, our first reaction is to scream, "Look out!" We've not only made a habit out of smearing our fear and worry and doubt all over each other, but we pat ourselves on the backs for it because we believe that it shows how much we care." If we taught ourselves to reward and support taking leaps of faith, I truly believe we'd all be living more fulfilling lives. We fantasize about chasing our wildest dreams but the minute someone makes a radical decision such as quitting their job to fully dedicate themselves to their passion project, we all of the sudden feel the need to pull the fire alarm on them and warn them of all the things they've more than likely thought about a thousand times before. Fast forward, they persevere and believe in themselves so much that everything actually works out and they're now living their best lives and those same people that pulled the fire alarm blame it on luck or whatever else and don't believe that it would work out for them the same way.
When was the last time you did something that you considered to be crazy? One of those, "Omg I can't believe I'm actually about to do this" moments. If you replay your train of thought, there was a split second, right before you did that thing, where you said "f*ck it" and you felt a huge rush of excitement and suddenly your fear is non-existent.
What if we approached everything with that kind of dedication and excitement? Not letting fear overrule? Imagine how many things we'd actually do!
I had an incredibly great conversation with a good friend of mine, where I found myself giving a speech about how she should say screw it and pursue her passion project, knowing good and well that it was actually something I needed to do as well. I saw a tweet a few hours later that said "Your soul will use your voice to get your attention" and then I had one of those "screw it" moments and here we are, my first blog post.
I will note that lately my generation has been incredibly more supportive of those wanting to pursue their true passions (which most are in the arts) and I absolutely love that, but I also know there's many of us still sitting back and wishing that were us. So the point of me saying all of this is to say: I invite you to take that leap of faith on whatever it is you've been contemplating. Take a chance on yourself. If you need help, ask for it. Know that you're not walking alone. I'd absolutely love to hear about your leap of faith or be an accountability partner for you. If no one has said this to you yet, I BELIEVE IN YOU!
There is a universe inside of you. You are love and light.
Thank you for walking with me this far.
Tatiana Gicel
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